by Carol J. Scott, MD, MSEd, FACEP
Stress hormones are essential and necessary for being creative, reaching stretch goals, achieving peak performance and experiencing life.
Stress hormones are great, but after a certain point, they can rapidly become counterproductive or even dangerous. Regardless of age, we can’t stay on the edge performing at a top level for extended periods of time. It doesn’t feel good. We become frustrated, out of control and exhausted!
Ultimately, stress is less about what happens to us and more about how we relate to it. How much stress we feel—our stress level—is determined by how we perceive, process and respond to things that happen inside and outside our bodies.
Stress doesn’t just happen to us. Living with the inevitable stressors in life is not about being a thermometer or bystander, commenting about being stressed out and keeping track of the level of stress we have. The key is to live and function as a highly engineered thermostat—effortlessly and almost unconsciously assessing and regulating your mind and body responses, not just the harmful reactions to stressors in your life. The goal is to develop strategies for healthy adaptive responses instead of reacting and experiencing harmful illnesses, premature disability or worse.
Cause and Effect
The stress process is influenced by a cause and effect relationship between triggers or stressors:
Acute: Life’s disruptions
Chronic: Life’s disparities
Traumatic: Natural/man made disasters and emergencies
Hassles: Irritating ongoing annoyances
Major life events: Marriage, divorce, death
When we consciously or unconsciously appraise one of these causes as exceeding the capacity of our resources, we unconsciously and automatically label it as a stressor. Those triggers arouse of the mind and body leading to common responses, such as:
Biological: Heart beating fast, sweaty palms, muscle tension
Emotional: Joy, happiness, irritation
Psychological: Anxiety, fear, moodiness or depression
Behavioral: Running, fighting, eating problems
Avoiding the stress traps involves embracing the concept of the BestStress Zone™. Living in the BestStress Zone is about developing healthy responses to stressors. Inevitable stressors are triggers/causes associated with your “three Ps”: Purpose, Passion and Priorities. Your three Ps will change throughout the stages of your life.
Trap 1: Generational Priorities
in the Workplace
Business environments require teamwork, but I often hear “laptop-ers” and seasoned leaders comment that their teams “just don’t understand.” This was highlighted in a study called Generation of Differences in the Workforce. It presents insightful longitudinal data to inform our practices and prevent a potential major stress trap.
In the study, women and men were asked the same questions in 1977, 1992, 1999 and 2002 in groups: Gen-Y (18-22), Gen-X (23-37), Boomers (38-57) and Matures (over age 58). Gen-X and Y-ers are defined as children of working mothers and the downsized generation. Many have first-hand experience with two parents in workforce. Job security issues and organizational change were often experienced by their families.
It’s not surprising that a “work-centric lifestyle” (placing a higher priority on work than family) was noted by 54% of Matures, 22% of Boomers and only 12% of other generations. “family-centric” lifestyle prioritization was noted by 50% of Gen-Y, 52% of Gen-X and 41% of Boomers.
The study also found that fewer women wanted jobs with more responsibility in 2003 than 1992 (57% vs. 36%). Ambitions of promotable employees were diminished by experiences of negative spillover from their jobs into their family lives.
Leaders who understand the trends and mitigate the traps with these tips can proactively shape dialogue, policy and practice:
1. Recognize and expect individual differences in lifestyle prioritization of work and family—the data are merely archetypical descriptions.
2. Allow a cross-generational group to establish an operational definition of organizational values which are linked to performance measures.
3. Provide opportunities for cross-generational employees to exchange of ideas, past perspectives and achievements outside of work.
4. Facilitate cross-mentoring of hard and soft skills up and down the continuum of age.
5. Humility is a virtue. Before you judge the actions or words of a member of another generation; ask yourself, “what if this were my mom/cousin/daughter?”
Trap 2: Integration of Work & the Rest of Life
It is well established that seeking balance in and of itself can trigger the stress response. Contemporary realities are that most structures, cultures and practices continue to be designed as if face time represents the highest level of commitment and we all have ‘wives’ at home! Do not fall into the trap of thinking that a comfortable integration of your work and personal lives is a luxury. As organizations restructure fundamental practices and processes beyond flextime and parental leaves, you must reexamine your approach.
I emphasize the importance of differentiating your roles from your identity. A role is usually about the tasks that we perform as a part of an organization, system or team. As women, we often pride ourselves in wearing multiple hats, often simultaneously, that reflect our level of engagement in work, family, community or spiritual teams.
In most instances, my clients have the knowledge and skills to fulfill various roles across the dimensions of life; from their role as Corporate Executive Vice President to organizer of the car pool. Triggers can and will occur, but a lack of clarification around our evolving identity often creates the most harmful stress traps. Our identity usually creates a true sense of happiness, defined as pleasure and meaning. It is through a clear connection of our 3 Ps that we are able to derive meaning from our daily activities by shifting and maintaining critical identities which shape our lives. For example, work does not have to be a role that generates stress because of conflicted feelings about caring for your toddler.
Here’s how to integrate paid work with your life:
1. List your roles and identities at work and at home.
2. Assemble teams at work and home. Revisit roles and responsibilities including a list of expected actions.
3. Develop a triage plan. In the emergency room, a chest pain patient is an expected unexpected event. In life you can expect all three forms of unexpected events: non-occurrences of expected events (child care provider calls in sick one day after holiday), unexpected events (aging mom is rushed to the hospital) and “un-thought of” events (water main bursts, closing your route to work). Include stakeholders in key steps to manage the top five for each category in your life.
Trap 3: Stress & the Heart Health Connection
Did you know more than seven out of ten visits to a primary care doctor are due to stress-related disorders? This section focuses on the relationship between stress and heart disease.
It’s no coincidence that there is both a stress epidemic and a simultaneous epidemic of Cardiovascular Disease (CVD) in women. Cardiovascular disease is the leading killer of women in the United States. More than one half million women die of CVD each year, exceeding the number of deaths in men and the next seven causes of death in women combined. This translates into approximately one death each minute. Nearly two-thirds of women die suddenly with no previously recognized symptoms. Studies find that stress leads to cardiovascular disability and death through the following mechanisms:
1. “Type A” behavior pattern (hostility and anger are lethal).
2. Effects of primary stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortisol on blood vessels leading to high blood pressure (hypertension) and spasm of blood vessels supplying the heart (coronary arteries).
3. Direct effects of adrenaline on the heart influence emotional stress-causing sudden heart failure (Taksobu’s Syndrome).
4. Acceleration of increase in a blood protein (fibrinogen) causes thickening/clotting of the blood adding to likelihood of a heart attack.
5. Abnormal handling of glucose and lipids in the body lead to acceleration of hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis). This leads to obesity, diabetes, coronary heart disease and heart attacks.
6. Increased demand on the heart when we work out or engage in physical activity normally leads to increasing blood flow to the heart. For unknown reasons, during periods of high emotional stress, the pattern of blood flow is different and there is less blood flow to the heart leading to heart attacks.
7. Irritability of the heart muscle leads to heart rhythms (ventricular fibrillation) which cause sudden death. The American College of Cardiology and American Heart Association published Evidence Based Guidelines for Cardiovascular Disease prevention in women. Learning to regulate your stress process is critical because it interfaces with lifestyle interventions and major factor interventions (i.e. blood pressure and lipids).
Here’s how to avoid a heart attack or stroke due to stress:
1. Determine your inherited risk for cardiovascular disease. The standard risk scales from the Framingham studies your doctor uses (available on the Web) have limitations for women. Discuss this with your doctor.
2. Know your numbers! Blood pressure less than 120/70 is optimal with or without medication. Don’t settle for less! HDL>40-60, LDL <130-100.
3. Use a science-based approach to weight, diet and nutrition. Keep it simple; calories expended must exceed calories in. Avoid trans-fat and eat more foods proportionately without labels. Use Omega-3 and multivitaminS.
4. Make physical activity a priority (it doesn’t have to be exercise) and integrate it into your daily routine. Set a goal to expend 150 calories a day, equivalent to 37 minutes of brisk walking or 18 minutes of jogging. That’s all you need needed for heart health!
5. Avoid hostility. Give the gift of forgiveness.
6. Sleep at least seven hours every night or take power naps of 20-40 minutes. Longer naps are counterproductive.
7. Take an audit of your emotions on a daily basis and set a tone that’s consistent with your goals.
8. Integrate daily relaxation, recovery and renewal.
Trap 4: Guilt
Guilt is usually related to two factors: 1) internalizing consciously or unconsciously other people’s perceptions of who we are or how we are living our lives, and 2) our gendered society.
Women are more at risk for a false guilt. This involves taking responsibility for situations for which we are not to blame and have little or no power to solve the underlying problem. It has been said that our guilt is often inappropriate, de-energizing, even paralyzing. Women are literally voluntarily taking on an extra burden of guilt.
When there’s a problem, we’re encouraged to take a personal inventory, to remedy, to improve ourselves. It’s as though there is a guilt gene passed from mother to daughter. This propensity for self-blame is bad medicine and it tends to be a lifetime affliction. Be self-aware. Stay in touch with your strengths, weaknesses, preferences and needs. Allow this inventory to be your compass. Let it guide and strengthen your ability to not only say ‘no’ without guilt, but feel the power of the ‘no’. Here’s how to avoid the guilt stress trap:
1. Set limits. Schedule and honor your time for daily recovery.
2. Learn when and how to say ‘no’.
3. Make a list of priorities at the start of each day or the night before. Identify what’s really important and let the rest go.
4. Give up perfection.
5. Delegate. Take a professional development class and master this skill.
6. Team with others to maintain connections and support.
Trap 5: The Paradox of Simplification
We’re aware of the stress that comes from feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, exhausted or anxious when we try and do too much in too little time. Time is a fixed, immutable commodity. The solution is simple – do less, not more.
“Time Affluence” was described by Leslie Perlow of Harvard Business School. It’s of more value, allowing you to savor and enjoy what’s important in your life. It’s a much better predictor of well being.
Throughout your life, I encourage you to consider mindful engagement in your day-to-day activities and to value interpersonal relationships. Mindfulness is merely the ability to concentrate on the here and now. The rewards are much more meaningful experiences: a first date, a two hour recovery period at home after work, the 20 minutes of commuting time with your children to afterschool and weekend activities, Saturday mornings with your partner.
Simplifying requires that you disconnect in order to connect with important people in your life. However, there are times when it is best to not simplify because it can create a stress trap.
Expectations require assumptions about routines, rules, norms and roles. When the unexpected occurs, we often seek to classify or simplify, to reach a quick solution. The problem is that when we simplify we take things for granted in our analysis of a situation. This can result in a failure to detect, contain or bounce-back.
Oversimplification and lack of scrutiny affects not only the situation at hand, but can contribute to confirmation bias which can have a long-term negative impact. Here are tips to avoid the simplification trap:
1. Do less and be more. List routine tasks and activities and examine each for value and congruence with your life.
2. Enjoy time with family and friends. Really be WITH them.
3. Determine what is important: Time or Material Affluence.
4. Focus on the positive. Make a daily gratitude statement.
5. Take a technology time-out. Establish a daily time to unplug for personal reflection and creativity. Inform others when you will check email. Eliminate the desire to respond first.
Here are a few bonus traps to consider.
Trap 6: Emotions
“If I were not so ‘emotional’ I could handle stress better.” It’s a particularly pernicious stress-producing trap for women.
Trap 7: Problematic & Irrational Thinking
Irrational beliefs often lead to knee-jerk reactions. I often coach clients on how to overcome irrational beliefs.
Trap 8: Over-Commitment
You know the person in the organization who always has more on her plate, arrives before anyone else, sends out emails at 3:00 am, constantly seeks affirmation of her value? She seems impatient, depressed, hostile and resentful. This pattern is a specific way some women cope with job demands. Don’t be overcome by over-commitment.
Wishing you the best of success in creating a stress-free life!
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Live in your BestStress
Zone™.
Stress hormones are essential.
Manage them wisely.
Tune your mind and body to
adjust to stressors naturally.
Learn to regulate stress to
reduce the risk of heart
disease.
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