Free to Succeed
On becoming fearless at work
By Arianna Huffington

From the Fall 2006 issue of PBWC Connections see other articles

Work has been a central part of my life, just as it is for almost all women, including the 58 percent who are currently in the US labor force. Today, more than 70 percent of mothers work outside the home. I may never have worked in an office or been part of a corporate structure, but when I started looking at all
the issues and fears facing women at work, I discovered that they were no different from the fundamental issues I’ve faced on my own career path. This was a light bulb moment for me: Our work-related fears have little to do with whether we work
in a forty five-story office building or in our own homes. But they’re intense and they’re real, and I’ve seen them mirrored in the working lives of hundreds of women.

Overcoming these fears — and becoming fearless — is an essential step on the road to success. Fearlessness helps give us perspective on the role of work in our lives and will help us finally shatter the glass ceiling. But we need to conquer the
workplace as women, in our own unique way, not as carbon copies of men — briefcase-carrying, pinstripe-wearing career machines.

Aside from the office and career anxieties everyone faces, women have specific work-related fears that center on the paradox of maintaining relationships and remaining “feminine” while still doing a good job. These are the fears of ambition and assertiveness.

As Mary Pipher shows in Reviving Ophelia, girls begin life with just as much ambition as boys, but they slowly lose steam in adolescence, right when self-consciousness about gender roles begins to seep in. The result is that women get the message loud and clear that ambition isn’t feminine. Even when women are able to continue dreaming big, there’s still a difference between the way our successes and those of men are received. When women succeed, we are much more likely than men to be uncomfortable with public acknowledgment of our success. We shrug off accolades — and any advancement that comes with them.

One way to overcome the fears of being ambitious and assertive is by learning how to play the men’s office “game” but tailoring it to our own style. As Gail Evans observes in her book Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman, knowledge of the men’s rule book equals power in the workplace. Taking credit for our work and accomplishments, and fearlessly negotiating for compensation can be interpreted as ambitious and aggressive. But as Evans says, “You are who you say you are.” If you act timid and unimportant, that’s how you’ll be perceived.

We have to let go of the idea that we must be sweet all the time if we’re going to be “real women.” This doesn’t mean we have to become obnoxious ogres. We can be assertive without sacrificing charm and humor. Humor especially can be very effective in taking the edge off being assertive. We can be a lot more challenging if we don’t take ourselves too seriously. “Angels fly because they take themselves lightly,” my mother used to remind us.

Side-by-side with our fears of ambition and assertiveness we find our fear of failure. Sure, nobody likes to fail, but in many women the fear of failure translates into taking fewer risks and not reaching for our dreams. And the fear of not living up to some mythical ideal of perfection often means that many of us won’t move ahead with a project or idea until we are 110 percent sure it’s perfect, error-free, and unassailable. Which often means never moving ahead, or not moving as far or as fast as we could.
Not letting our fears paralyze us is key in any new job or venture, especially when there is the possibility of public criticism or humiliation. We have to weigh the psychic cost of not trying against the possibility of not succeeding and being embarrassed by our efforts. The former creates regret, the latter a few hours — or maybe a few days — of licking our wounds. If you want to succeed big, there is no substitute for simply sticking your neck out.

As in other areas of life, being fearless at work doesn’t mean eliminating fear. It simply means acknowledging it, making it your ally, and not letting it stop you.

Arianna's
1 Minute
of Wisdom

We need to conquer theworkplace in our own unique way, not as carbon copies
of men.

Women’s work-related fears center on the paradox of maintaining relationships and
remaining “feminine” while still doing a good job.

We can be assertive without sacrificing charm and humor.

The key to any new job or venture is not
letting our fears
paralyze us.